[Sirius still hasn't told him about such memories, but it doesn't take much for Remus to guess at them. Moreover, he's seen how it's impacted Sirius' already fractured well-being. He's not even fully recovered from Azkaban and now he's trapped in a different sort of prison. And there's nothing either of them can really do to change that.]
After I've recovered from the next full moon, I suspect.
[He'd never admit it, but those times when Remus is away are those when he struggles most. Particularly in terms of the bottle. Sirius has always found something grounding in the werewolf's presence, even more so now that he and Harry are all that Sirius has left. All that he loves.
It dawns on him that he may not be alone in that regard; that Remus had meant it when he said Harry wasn't the only one who needed him. Perhaps he can be useful, after all.]
The Wolfsbane potion... I know it changes the way you transform, that you don't need watching over, but I'd like to stay with you, next time.
[Were it anyone else, Remus would have refused outright. But Sirius has already seen him, already spent innumerable full moons with him, and that was before the Wolfsbane. Remus more than trusts him with those nights.
The company would probably do them both good.] I think I'd like that as well, actually. I must ask you to remain as Padfoot the entire time, though, just as a precautionary measure.
[Not that he doesn't trust Severus' brewing skills, or thinks he'll sabotage it on purpose. No, he trusts it will be made as precisely as it has been every month before. He just prefers to not tempt fate overly much.]
[Honestly, he'd half expected Remus to try and talk him out of it. He and the other Marauders had gone through the entire, month-long process of becoming Animagi in complete secrecy; not only because it was, well, completely illegal, but Sirius had known Remus would never have allowed them to risk something so dangerous on his behalf. Some things never changed.
He almost shrugs it off. Instead, Sirius offers a half-smile.]
Of course. That won't be hard. ... I spend most nights as Padfoot these days.
[It's why he hates to ask, he knows Sirius relies overly much on being Padfoot to avoid his more human problems. But he'd rather Sirius do something he was already going to do anyway than risk stirring up his wolf with prey so nearby, even with the wolfsbane containing it.
He's spent too many damn full moons entirely alone. Having Padfoot with him again, even if it's not necessary to keep him from hurting himself, is too tempting. Again he's struck with decades-old gratitude at his friends' decision to put themselves in danger just so he wouldn't have to be alone on his worst nights.
He'll just have to find other ways to get Sirius to spend other nights as himself.] It's very different, with the wolfsbane. I usually just try to sleep through it. [He never can, but... he tries.]
[Remus is right in thinking he would do it anyway. Transforming is an easy form of escape and he knows it. Unworthy of a Gryffindor, perhaps, and probably unhealthy, but Sirius will take it until such a time when remaining human at night seems like a better prospect. If Remus wants to help with that, he's more than welcome to do so.
He watches the other man, listening intently. Once, he may have been foolhardy enough to coax a werewolf into roaming the grounds of a school at night, but Sirius knows that, in this house, they'll be bound to stay put. Other members of the Order will be milling around, for one thing. For another, he cares for Remus far too deeply to ever betray his trust again.]
Hardly as exciting as a jaunt around the Forbidden Forest, but I dare say I can manage it. [A wry smile, then. It seems his eyes have regained a little of their light.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
@canisastrum
[Sirius still hasn't told him about such memories, but it doesn't take much for Remus to guess at them. Moreover, he's seen how it's impacted Sirius' already fractured well-being. He's not even fully recovered from Azkaban and now he's trapped in a different sort of prison. And there's nothing either of them can really do to change that.]
After I've recovered from the next full moon, I suspect.
Happy to!
It dawns on him that he may not be alone in that regard; that Remus had meant it when he said Harry wasn't the only one who needed him. Perhaps he can be useful, after all.]
The Wolfsbane potion... I know it changes the way you transform, that you don't need watching over, but I'd like to stay with you, next time.
no subject
The company would probably do them both good.] I think I'd like that as well, actually. I must ask you to remain as Padfoot the entire time, though, just as a precautionary measure.
[Not that he doesn't trust Severus' brewing skills, or thinks he'll sabotage it on purpose. No, he trusts it will be made as precisely as it has been every month before. He just prefers to not tempt fate overly much.]
no subject
He almost shrugs it off. Instead, Sirius offers a half-smile.]
Of course. That won't be hard. ... I spend most nights as Padfoot these days.
[Dogs aren't so prone to nightmares, he's found.]
no subject
He's spent too many damn full moons entirely alone. Having Padfoot with him again, even if it's not necessary to keep him from hurting himself, is too tempting. Again he's struck with decades-old gratitude at his friends' decision to put themselves in danger just so he wouldn't have to be alone on his worst nights.
He'll just have to find other ways to get Sirius to spend other nights as himself.] It's very different, with the wolfsbane. I usually just try to sleep through it. [He never can, but... he tries.]
no subject
He watches the other man, listening intently. Once, he may have been foolhardy enough to coax a werewolf into roaming the grounds of a school at night, but Sirius knows that, in this house, they'll be bound to stay put. Other members of the Order will be milling around, for one thing. For another, he cares for Remus far too deeply to ever betray his trust again.]
Hardly as exciting as a jaunt around the Forbidden Forest, but I dare say I can manage it. [A wry smile, then. It seems his eyes have regained a little of their light.]